Mar 12, 2011

Which facebook user type are you?

Quizzers: If anyone can remember, the trend of quizzes actually started quite innocuously a few years ago, with genuinely interesting quizzes. What personality type are you? What does your favorite color say about you? Then a couple years ago it became slightly bizarre. Which Nepali leader were you in your past life? Which of them would you marry in this life? What type of valentine heart are you? Red, pink or purple? And now, it has come to downright inane. Which headlight of Justin Bieber’s car are you? What is your favorite language to talk to your lamp in?

Forecast maniacs: Possibly the most annoying facebook users are those who follow their forecast every day, and not satisfied with knowing their own fortunes, they want the whole world to know too. Hence, your wall is plastered everyday with Mr. X’s forecasts from the Octopus, and Ms. Y’s forecast from a crystal ball. Not to mention the host of other forecasters like the Magic mirror which is always rude, overly made up Maya Roopmati who tries to be seductive but fails, and Baba Fekaananda who is ugly and hairy.

Interesting video posters: The posts that you don’t mind plastering your walls are the interesting short movies. Remember the foreigner who was driving tempos in Nepal? Or the lady who made art out of sand? I am grateful to these industrious people who take the trouble to search and upload such entertaining stuff!

Talented artists: Among the posters are a scattered a bunch of really creative people, who post their own stuff instead of links to others’ creation. Among them are artists who post photos of their paintings, photographs and crafts, cooks who put up their concoctions and poets who rhyme every status. Many people put up things on facebook that they might repress in real life, and it is really refreshing to know them better. Also among the talented people are the models, sometimes posing and photographing themselves highly imaginative poses. For them facebook is a free portfolio through which they display their hidden beauty. Wonderful stuff, more eye candy please J

Running commentators: And then there are those who go to the extremes of expressing themselves, and just cannot stop saying everything about them.

“Just got up”. (Good morning.)

“Brushing my teeth.” (OK, fine.)

“What is it about brushing my teeth that makes me think I am dirty? Even though I brush and brush and brush. Is it because I drank tea? Should I drink tea after I brush my teeth? Or after I comb my hair? Does it make my teeth shine more if I comb my hair? I know, it must be the foam in my mouth, I am foaming too much, is that the problem, do you think?” (The problem, I think, is too insignificant to record, let alone shout out loud form your rooftops, which is what facebook amounts to these days.)

Relationship jokers: Among the extremists are those who joke about their relationship status. (Or maybe they are serious, you never know!)

5:34 PM Rishita is in a relationship. (So happy for you, hugs!)

5: 58 PM Rishita is married. (Whoa! Congrats! Loads and loads of hugs!)

6: 01 PM: Rishita is in a complicated relationship. (Oops!!! Is there an “other woman”? Poor baby, hugs!)

6: 17 PM: Rishita is single. (So sorry for you, hugs!)

6:29 PM Rishita is an open relationship. (If you had said that in the first place, it would have covered everything. Anyways, hugs darling!)

Annotated Commentators: “Jhalanath slapped” wrote a friend of mine last week, and immediately, two other people posted links in answer: one saluted the slapper, and another listed cartoons and images of the slapping. All in all, very useful to a person abroad like me. All I have to do is look at my news feed, and I get the news of the world, along with entertaining insights. Now this is the type of running commentary I like!

Pseudo talented: No puns intended, but the pseudonyms that people conjure up in facebook are quite creative, and often provide a glimpse into their personality. If someone calls themselves “angel” you know what they think of themselves, and same goes for “cutie” and “heart stealer” (really?). Sometimes the pseudonyms are slightly annoying, because you are looking for your old friend, and don’t find them anywhere. You get panic attacks because you think they deleted you, but hey, suddenly “Mnyrrha Xilodena” comments on your status and you breathe a sigh of relief at the familiar picture!

Nicest person: Last but not the least, no, I do not want to join the Nicest person contest, there are already people with 7295692845689487 votes and I am like the ninety nine millionth person on the list, so I don’t want to start a campaign right now (or at any point in the future). I am already far behind on my townville game as it is. Adios my friends, expect the chunky green pictures of my town to plaster your walls any minute now. Also, I will be sending you a request to be my apartment partner, Townville business partner and trader, and in the meantime, please don’t forget to buy a stuffed dragon for my sequined hedgehog and water my begonias!

(If you like the post, please vote on the right side, hehe)



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