Mar 2, 2013

The non love story

Jowaki: Nepali Girl
Siegfried: Foreign boy (Fill in the blanks for country)

Siegfried and Jowaki are chatting casually on the way home from school.
Siegfried: So, how do you date in Nepal ?
Jowaki: Haha, nobody "dates" in Nepal, either you are single, or you are not!

Siegfried: But how is that possible? There must be a process for people to get together.
Jowaki: You tell me how it works here.
Siegfried: If you like someone, you ask them to go out with you.
Jowaki: Hmm, we don’t do that very often, we have the "propose", I suppose.
Siegfried: What propose? You mean a marriage proposal? 
Jowaki: Nobody proposes marriage in Nepal. After you are together, marriage is kind of understood. 
Siegfried: Then what is the proposal for?
Jowaki (vaguely): To be in a relationship? Frankly, I don’t know, I have never thought about it….
Siegfried: Then why is it called a proposal?
Jowaki: Ummm, that’s how it is…

Siegfried: Alright, so how does the “proposal” go?
Jowaki:  In school people just send send cards or letters saying “I love you!”
Siegfried: What? But how can you love a person before you know them?
Jowaki (Getting confused): I don’t know, that’s just how it is…

Siegfried:  And what happens when you really start loving that person?
Jowaki: Haha, it’s assumed that you already love the person from the first time.
Siegfried: How is that possible?
Jowaki (screwing up her face): Umm…..
Siegfried: How come that’s your answer to everything?
Jowaki: :P

Siegfried: Ok, what happens next?
Jowaki: And then you “date”, I suppose, go out and things like that.
Siegfrid: So only get to date after you confess your love to each other?
Jowaki: Mostly, yes.
Siegfried: But don’t people go out for movies and things without the love confession?
Jowaki: Sure they do, but that doesn’t count as dating.
Siegfried: What’s it called then?
Jowaki: Umm, nothing?

One fine day
Siegfried: If I went to school with you, I would have given you one of those greeting cards.
Jowaki: If I had grown up with you, I would have asked you to watch a movie with me.
Siegfried: So do you want me to “propose” now?
Jowaki: No, let’s just go for a walk for now.

In one late-night chat
Jowaki: Hey, I am going on a one week trip tomorrow.
Siegfried: I'll drop you to the airport
Jowaki: I booked a taxi already.
Siegfried: Cancel it.
Jowaki: It's late
Siegfried: Fine, just avoid it then.

The next morning
Aunt: let me make some tea you.
Jowaki (happily): Aww, thanks aunty, you didn't have to do that, it's 5 am.
Aunt: It's alryt. I have also packed some pakodas for the trip.
Jowaki; Wow (grin grin)
Aunty: Let me walk you to the bus stop. 
Jowaki (grin suddenly fading): umm, no thanks aunty, umm...
Aunty: Why not? I am up already anyways...
Jowaki: It's too cold. It's supposed to rain today. (wildly groping for ideas)And you don't have gum-boots.
Aunty: What nonsense, I have done ropain in knee-deep mud, a little bit of water is not going to bother me. 
(Picks up Jowaki’s baggage and starts walking, with Jowaki following unhappily)
Aunty (looking suspiciously at the taxi): Is that your ride? The driver looks too young! Are you sure that pretty boy can take you safely to the train station? 
Jowaki (carrying the luggage to the car): I am sure he is over 18.
Aunty (trying to hold on to the bag): AND he is smoking, I am sure drivers are not supposed to smoke on the job. He might also be drunk! 
Jowaki (pulling the bag with perhaps more force than necessary): Umm He's registered with the taxi station, remember, now bye aunty....
Siegfried (coming out of the taxi to open the dikki): Helllo Jowaki, who is this? 
Aunty (muttering in Jowaki's ear): Huh, since when were you on first name terms with your taxi driver?
Jowaki (pushing Siegfried into the car):  Umm, he is a regular, umm, (yelling at Siegfried) hey you, come on, let's go.
The car starts.
Aunty (focusing her glasses): I didn't know taxi drivers rode Audis these days. And where is the taxi company's logo?
Jowaki(inside the car): step on it.
Siegfried (Braking): Sure, but why do you look like you just ate half a lemon? I thought you were happy about the trip. Are you all right? Shall I fetch you a glass of water from the house?
Jowaki (thumping her head on the dashboard): Let's just go....

Jowaki and Siegfried are about ready to go watch a movie together. Jowaki just said bye to her aunt.
Jowaki: Hey listen, I have told everyone that we are going to a birthday party, ok.
Siegfried: Why?
Jowaki: Because I don’t want to tell them that I am going on a date.
Siegfried: But why not?
Jowaki: In Nepal nobody has a “boyfriend”. You don’t tell your family until you are ready to get married.
Siegfried: Really? Then you don’t introduce them to your parents at all?
Jowaki: You can introduce them, but as a friend. 
Siegfrid: But they would find out anyways, wouldn't they, by the way you act around each other?
Jowaki: Yes, so you have to be really careful, and pretend to be just friends.
Siegfried: But WHY?
Jowaki: Umm, that's how it is...

Several days later on sms:
To: Siegfried
Heya, i invited some friends to watch movie at my place. u come too.
To Jowaki:
Be there in 10

Upon Siegfried’s arrival to Jowaki’s house
To: Siegfried
U look nice.
To Jowaki:
I am in front of you, why are you texting me.
To: Siegfried
Shut up! My aunt is already wondering why I invited the taxi driver home.
To Jowaki:
oh okee. u dont wanna introduce me to your family?
To Siegfried:
It's not that, I jst need some time.
To Jowaki:
Aiite. Can I put my head on your lap?
To Siegfried:
To Jowaki:
Calm down, this might be easier way to tell her that something is cooking.
To Siegfried:
To Jowaki:
Aww :( you are upset, can I at least hold your hand? Besides, I am only halfway through the movie.
To Siegfried:
stop making things awkward for me, my aunt is beginning to notice, Pleaaaaaaaase, leaaveeeeeeee,.

Siegfried puts on his shoes, leaves, and never comes back.


Anonymous said...

Sewa ji, tapai America ko kathputali hunubhaecha ra Nepali sansar ra chalchalan birsinu bhaecha America ma kei barsa basera.

Very cool. Following you from now. Ajhai prolific hunuparyo writing-wise. Inspirations!

Richa Bhattarai said...

Ha, ha.
Loved it.

Subodh Rana said...

Did you see English Vinglish? Some of the emotions you mention comes across really well, probably the best B-wood film of 2012. cheers,

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