Mar 2, 2013

The non love story



Jowaki: Nepali Girl
Siegfried: Foreign boy (Fill in the blanks for country)
**

Siegfried and Jowaki are chatting casually on the way home from school.
Siegfried: So, how do you date in Nepal ?
Jowaki: Haha, nobody "dates" in Nepal, either you are single, or you are not!
**

Siegfried: But how is that possible? There must be a process for people to get together.
Jowaki: You tell me how it works here.
Siegfried: If you like someone, you ask them to go out with you.
Jowaki: Hmm, we don’t do that very often, we have the "propose", I suppose.
Siegfried: What propose? You mean a marriage proposal? 
Jowaki: Nobody proposes marriage in Nepal. After you are together, marriage is kind of understood. 
Siegfried: Then what is the proposal for?
Jowaki (vaguely): To be in a relationship? Frankly, I don’t know, I have never thought about it….
Siegfried: Then why is it called a proposal?
Jowaki: Ummm, that’s how it is…
***

Siegfried: Alright, so how does the “proposal” go?
Jowaki:  In school people just send send cards or letters saying “I love you!”
Siegfried: What? But how can you love a person before you know them?
Jowaki (Getting confused): I don’t know, that’s just how it is…
***

Siegfried:  And what happens when you really start loving that person?
Jowaki: Haha, it’s assumed that you already love the person from the first time.
Siegfried: How is that possible?
Jowaki (screwing up her face): Umm…..
Siegfried: How come that’s your answer to everything?
Jowaki: :P
***

Siegfried: Ok, what happens next?
Jowaki: And then you “date”, I suppose, go out and things like that.
Siegfrid: So only get to date after you confess your love to each other?
Jowaki: Mostly, yes.
Siegfried: But don’t people go out for movies and things without the love confession?
Jowaki: Sure they do, but that doesn’t count as dating.
Siegfried: What’s it called then?
Jowaki: Umm, nothing?
**

One fine day
Siegfried: If I went to school with you, I would have given you one of those greeting cards.
Jowaki: If I had grown up with you, I would have asked you to watch a movie with me.
Siegfried: So do you want me to “propose” now?
Jowaki: No, let’s just go for a walk for now.
**

In one late-night chat
Jowaki: Hey, I am going on a one week trip tomorrow.
Siegfried: I'll drop you to the airport
Jowaki: I booked a taxi already.
Siegfried: Cancel it.
Jowaki: It's late
Siegfried: Fine, just avoid it then.
**

The next morning
Aunt: let me make some tea you.
Jowaki (happily): Aww, thanks aunty, you didn't have to do that, it's 5 am.
Aunt: It's alryt. I have also packed some pakodas for the trip.
Jowaki; Wow (grin grin)
Aunty: Let me walk you to the bus stop. 
Jowaki (grin suddenly fading): umm, no thanks aunty, umm...
Aunty: Why not? I am up already anyways...
Jowaki: It's too cold. It's supposed to rain today. (wildly groping for ideas)And you don't have gum-boots.
Aunty: What nonsense, I have done ropain in knee-deep mud, a little bit of water is not going to bother me. 
(Picks up Jowaki’s baggage and starts walking, with Jowaki following unhappily)
Aunty (looking suspiciously at the taxi): Is that your ride? The driver looks too young! Are you sure that pretty boy can take you safely to the train station? 
Jowaki (carrying the luggage to the car): I am sure he is over 18.
Aunty (trying to hold on to the bag): AND he is smoking, I am sure drivers are not supposed to smoke on the job. He might also be drunk! 
Jowaki (pulling the bag with perhaps more force than necessary): Umm He's registered with the taxi station, remember, now bye aunty....
Siegfried (coming out of the taxi to open the dikki): Helllo Jowaki, who is this? 
Aunty (muttering in Jowaki's ear): Huh, since when were you on first name terms with your taxi driver?
Jowaki (pushing Siegfried into the car):  Umm, he is a regular, umm, (yelling at Siegfried) hey you, come on, let's go.
The car starts.
Aunty (focusing her glasses): I didn't know taxi drivers rode Audis these days. And where is the taxi company's logo?
Jowaki(inside the car): step on it.
Siegfried (Braking): Sure, but why do you look like you just ate half a lemon? I thought you were happy about the trip. Are you all right? Shall I fetch you a glass of water from the house?
Jowaki (thumping her head on the dashboard): Let's just go....
**

Jowaki and Siegfried are about ready to go watch a movie together. Jowaki just said bye to her aunt.
Jowaki: Hey listen, I have told everyone that we are going to a birthday party, ok.
Siegfried: Why?
Jowaki: Because I don’t want to tell them that I am going on a date.
Siegfried: But why not?
Jowaki: In Nepal nobody has a “boyfriend”. You don’t tell your family until you are ready to get married.
Siegfried: Really? Then you don’t introduce them to your parents at all?
Jowaki: You can introduce them, but as a friend. 
Siegfrid: But they would find out anyways, wouldn't they, by the way you act around each other?
Jowaki: Yes, so you have to be really careful, and pretend to be just friends.
Siegfried: But WHY?
Jowaki: Umm, that's how it is...
**

Several days later on sms:
To: Siegfried
Heya, i invited some friends to watch movie at my place. u come too.
To Jowaki:
Be there in 10
**

Upon Siegfried’s arrival to Jowaki’s house
To: Siegfried
U look nice.
To Jowaki:
I am in front of you, why are you texting me.
To: Siegfried
Shut up! My aunt is already wondering why I invited the taxi driver home.
To Jowaki:
oh okee. u dont wanna introduce me to your family?
To Siegfried:
It's not that, I jst need some time.
To Jowaki:
Aiite. Can I put my head on your lap?
To Siegfried:
WAT?? NO WAY, SHUT UP, WAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?
To Jowaki:
Calm down, this might be easier way to tell her that something is cooking.
To Siegfried:
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN EASY WAY, GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
To Jowaki:
Aww :( you are upset, can I at least hold your hand? Besides, I am only halfway through the movie.
To Siegfried:
stop making things awkward for me, my aunt is beginning to notice, Pleaaaaaaaase, leaaveeeeeeee,.
**

Siegfried puts on his shoes, leaves, and never comes back.
Reactions:

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sewa ji, tapai America ko kathputali hunubhaecha ra Nepali sansar ra chalchalan birsinu bhaecha America ma kei barsa basera.
/S

Very cool. Following you from now. Ajhai prolific hunuparyo writing-wise. Inspirations!

Richa Bhattarai said...

Ha, ha.
Loved it.

Subodh Rana said...

Did you see English Vinglish? Some of the emotions you mention comes across really well, probably the best B-wood film of 2012. cheers,

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