Sep 7, 2013

I wish you knew

  • A woman can be beautiful and brainy. They are not mutually exclusive.
  • Our careers are as important to us as yours are to you. We want someone, too, who buoys us up and tells us that it is worth our struggle.
  • Same is the case with our passions. Just as we do not mock your cricket fanaticism or your dried flowers collection, you have no right to roll your eyes at our pleasures. Whether they be melodramatic soaps, month-old kittens, or zumba classes.
  • We need to talk about dresses and shoes. And that does NOT make us perform any worse at work, or mother our kids less.
  • We may cry at the drop of a hat, but do not be deceived by appearances. We are sensitive, but also strong. Do not make the mistake, especially, of thinking that the worth of our lives would diminish without you.
  • Everyone talks, we don’t understand why only women’s talk is labelled gossip. We like to bond. Too bad if you don’t.
  • Not every woman is jealous. Supportive women are each other’s strengths. Get over the medieval notion of green eyed monsters.
  • Having said that, do not compare us unfavourably to another woman. If you want to actively bait the green eyed monster, we are not responsible for what happens next.
  • No jokes about how much we spend on our makeup, please. The currently male-centred business of sports ($600 billion revenue per year) is far bigger than the cosmetic industry ($400 billion/year). At sales exceeding $1 trillion every year, the liquor industry, also male-centred, dwarfs both by miles.
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  • Not every woman is a “natural” cook. Kitchen is everyone’s heaven, but some like to go there to eat, and some just to socialize. Just like men. No gender bias there.
  • Just because you saw a video of a woman crashing into a tree does not mean all women are bad drivers. You need to check statistics (women get into fewer driving accidents than men) before giving a blanket statement on women’s driving skills.
  • There is no such thing as “innate” mothering skills. No woman is born knowing how to handle a baby waking up every ten minutes. If you sleep through it, do not make it worse by saying it is easy for women.
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  • Do not talk about our weight. A woman expects security from those close to her, and telling her she looks fat is not the best way of going about it.
  • When you want to ask us out, do so. Do not tell us when the show starts and expect us to get the hint.
  • Do not complain of being friendzoned. Either move on or move away. It is not our fault if you want to keep to our side even when we have made our intentions clear.
  • If we pick your phone calls, meet you, and have a good time with you, it does not mean we are flirting. We are just being nice to you and ourselves.
  • But of course, we are all adults, and flirting is perfectly fine. But even when we flirt, it might not mean we like you, it’s ungallant to go around town saying so and so is crazy about you.
  • We are constantly amazed by the number of men who presume we will ask them to commit as soon as we meet. Please, we are as much of commitment phobes as you are! We really, really do not want you to go down on one knee after the first date.
  • It’s true. Women need to be reassured of your love, every day. If you think some things are understood without words, you better think again. This is not because we are women, but merely because we are human.
  • Listening does not mean nodding as you play temple run. Relationships needs active communication, and we seek true understanding of our feelings.
  • Helping with housework will get you where no amount of roses will.
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  • If your sister asks you to share household chores, it does not make her a feminist. Let her define herself.
  • It’s nice when you offer to pay. But please do it without lame jokes about how women like to live off of men. Keep your resentment about your ex-who-fleeced-you to yourself. If we offer to pay, or split, do not insist.
  • When a girl finds something you say or do offensive, take her word for it. Do not try to convince her that you meant no harm. The best thing for you to do is apologize and never do it again.
  • What applies to you may not apply to a woman. You may be delighted if a woman touches your face, complementing you on your soft skin. But do not expect the lady to be thrilled if you return the favour.
  • Do not say that men are the truly oppressed gender, because your wife yelled at you for leaving a wet towel around. Making light of it upsets those who feel the true weight of oppression.
  • Do not make fun of periods, pregnancy, or childbirth. Do not make childish jokes about PMS, especially, and blame our mood swings on them. More blood flows out of us in three days than you will see in your lifetime.
  • Most feminists do not think the answer to their problems lies in defeating men. In fact, most of them like men. A lot. We just want better lives for ourselves, not worse lives for others.

Reactions:

6 comments:

bhuwan pokharel said...

यी मध्ये कतिवटा बुँदाहरु तिमि आँफैलाई चाहिँ साँच्चै सहि लाग्छ ?

sagar baral said...

no....it does not piss me off like you expect...on the contrary it gives insights into women's way of thinking...its pretty helpful...thanks for enlightment

curly locks said...

malai praya bunda sahi lagchha bhuwan, kina ki ti afnai anubhav bata hun.
so sweet of you, sagar

Ganesh Poudel said...

the points are angling at the male chauvinists out there , and i am glad i am not one. Time will coin a phrase "female chauvinists" one day if the healthy campaign for women's right gets fanatical and revengeful.

curly locks said...

:) True, hope we dont end up there

de pokahontaz said...

Nice thougts for our side

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